I'm a singer/songwriter who has a passion for music. I don't think the world is good or evil...it's both. It's beautiful and twisted and dark and luminous. It's contained caos in the best and worst ways possible.
What do we need in order to push us to make decisions? Is there a pinnacle, most opportune moment that we must stay patient for, or is there never really the perfect time? Must we act on what we feel is the right time, or must there be more than just a hunch to push us to do it?
I think part of why I sometimes wait for a symbol or sign to push me forward into making decisions is because I think that gives my life structure. How vulnerable would I feel all the time if I went and did things when I felt the inner urge to? Life would seem chaotic if every day I took a risk, or started work on a new project, or attempted to conquer untouched land. I think I get comfortable in the static, and yet that is never enough for me. I have so many ideas, so much ambition, and so much love to give, yet I allow the notion, that the moment has to be perfect to act on my ambition, hinder what could either be so sweet, or, at worst, a learning experience. I’ll leave with that.
Live and learn,
It’s funny. A lot of people who pursue music say that they want to “make it in the music industry.” Trust me, I am no exception. But, what exactly is “making it”? I feel like it’s different for everyone. Is making it getting signed to a label? Making a million dollars? Selling out a local bar? Selling out Madison Square Garden? Making a decent, sustainable living? Knowing that you’ve changed someone’s life with your music?
Is it important before setting out on pursuing your dream to know what exactly your dream is? So far, I’ve pursued my dream of making it in the music industry with a more abstract outlook. That’s the kind of guy I am. I am the “go big or go home” kind of guy. I guess my dream is the real extravagant one - play at MSG, reach millions of people with my music, make the world a better place, etc etc. But with the music that I write and play, is that the right mentality? If I pursued a genre that fit perfectly within the electronic top 40 kind of mold those dreams might be more attainable.
When thinking more and more about it, if I theoretically tried to fit any kind of mold perfectly and lets say succeeded at it to become the next kind of Rihanna-like stardom, that wouldn’t totally be making it either. Because at the end of the day, our dreams don’t consist of compromises. If “making it in the biz” is a synonym for “fulfilling one’s dreams” then to make it, one must do it the way she/he intends/dreams it to be. So have you really “made it in the music biz” if the music you perform doesn’t mean anything to you? Maybe “making it” is reaching people with music that reaches you as well.
Anyways, I could go on and on with this conversation in my brain, but that would probably crash tumblr. Thanks for reading my nighttime mind rant, whoever is reading. *virtual wink*